Is jealousy still the ugliest of traits?

People used to say that jealousy is the ugliest of traits. But now I see quotes like this:

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Does jealousy really mean a girl is faithful? What if a girl isn’t jealous? I’m going to be bold and flat out say I think that quote is stupid (referring to the jealousy portion.. I mean the rest of it isn’t really profound either and kind of stupid as well).

I was watching a show the other night, and the guy was about to leave for his bachelor party in Tahoe. His fiancé right away asked her girlfriends, “Is Tahoe a place girls will be??” And when he got back she questioned him about if there were girls there and if he talked to them and blah blah blah.

Back in high school, I was that girl. “Omg you talked to her?” “Who is all going to be there?” “She is going to be there? You BETTER not even hardly look at her.”  “Why would you want to watch volleyball over my soccer game? Hmm? You like their spankies?” (okay, a little dramatized for effect)

Moral of the story is that looking back on high school relationships, I think to myself, Yikes…..that’s embarrassing. I got mad at stupid things that shouldn’t have been fights when it came to other girls. Now, sure, the guy was a fruitcake and gave me reasons to be the way I was; however, it taught me a lot about trust. I had no trust in him, so I was crazy girlfriend.

I get it.. we all like to have attention 100% of the time and want to make sure our guy isn’t crossing boundaries.

If you trust your guy, though, why can’t he be allowed to talk to other girls without being interrogated after the fact? He has friends too, you know. Ones that are of the opposite sex. It isn’t a crime. Talking to them doesn’t mean he wants to get in their pants.

Can’t we all just get along? Why does it have to be made into a big deal?

And what if you don’t get jealous at those things? Does that all of a sudden make you less of a girlfriend, like this quote implies?

I feel as though society has made jealousy out to be a good thing. Is it really? Or are we just using it as an excuse to be a pain in the behind? Or better yet, an excuse covering up the fact that you don’t truly trust him? I’m not saying a little jealousy is bad.  I mean, we’re all human. But when it’s enough to cause issues, interrogation and lies (even “white lies”) between one party or the other regarding the who, what,where, when and why… it becomes thee ugliest of relationship traits, in my opinion.

Couples that pull all-nighters together, stay together.

We didn’t have an abundance of homework, studying or other time-required events. My boyfriend Cody and I took a walk across the MN/WI bridge Friday evening and I made a comment about how pretty it’d be at sunrise. “Maybe we should pull an all-nighter tonight?” So we looked at each other, shrugged, and said why not? Since sunrise was at 7:31 on Saturday, we had a long night ahead of us.

So the night started with a trip to Little C’s for some grub around 9 p.m.

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typical college kid dinner

Hell Oh Wheels around 10:00 was next. We caught about four episode episodes. Okay, Cody did. By about 1 a.m, I looked like this:

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And pretty soon:

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Disclaimer: I am not a Packer fan.

Then we switched roles, and while Cody cat napped (we figured as long as one of us was awake at all times, we still succeeded as a team. Right?) I watched How I Met your Mother until 5:30 ish accompanied by a box of Cheerios.

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After that we needed some more fuel: coffee.

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Leftover pizza and coffee.. we decided that was an okay combination.

And while eating happened, we figured 6 a.m. was a wonderful time for some pumpkin carving. We looooove Wild hockey. We ventured to carve the logo, and check how it turned out! For sleep deprived people, we were pretty impressed with ourselves.

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Fiiiinally it was time to catch that sun rising. After a trek to the bridge, this was our long awaited reward:

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It was worth it. Sunrises and sunsets are hard to beat, especially in Winona.

Final picture of the morning captured our moods: half of us (represented by Cody) was wide-eyed and ready to go, while the other half (represented by me) was wondering what brought us to be on a bridge at 7:30 in the morning on a Saturday.

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Moral of the story: pull an all-nighter some night and catch the sunrise. It’ll end up interesting, logged on memory lane, no matter what.

Food for thought

Most of the time I have a great idea of where I want my life to go and a strong faith that it will go there (or that it will end up blessed no matter what). Sometimes, on the other hand, I have no idea. What I want, where I want to go, what should be next— No. Idea. And in those times I start to freak out, because my personality is to plan everything out.

If you are anything like me, I wanted to share this quote with you. I think it’s so important to remember that uncertainty usually leads to great things. Sometimes I forget my own advice to people which is that sometimes if we don’t plan things, we usually end up having a better time than had it been planned. It usually ends up how it’s supposed to be.

So for those days when I (or you) have no idea, when I’m frightened for what’s next or panicking that life seems so lost, here is this quote:

 

“If you’re feeling frightened about what comes next, don’t be. Embrace the uncertainty. Allow it to lead you places. Be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart and your mind as you create your own path toward happiness; don’t waste time with regret. Spin wildly into your next action. Enjoy the present, each moment, as it comes, because you’ll never get another one quite like it. And if you should ever look up and find yourself lost, simply take a breath and start over. Retrace your steps and go back to the purest place in your heart…where your hope lives. You’ll find your way again.”

—  Everwood  (via goodsndbads)

 

My discussion on wedding rings

This is my question: what, nowadays, is the “right” amount for a wedding ring? (a personal question that I don’t expect answered)

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My cousin’s super duper pretty ring.

Now, I know that it is different– completely different– for every person/couple. BUT, why I wonder this is because weddings have been a hot topic in the last few months in my house. My sister got married in August, I was in my cousins wedding over the weekend, and my roommate LOVES weddings and plans hers daily. Her and her boyfriend have been together for almost 6 years, so it isn’t a secret that a wedding is in their future.

Whenever it’s talked about, herself and my other roommate say rings should be in the $5,000+ range. I quote, “A guy should have to take out a loan… we are going to have it for the rest of our lives!” And I thought that was absurd. $5,000 for a ring?!? And they were convinced that amount wasn’t crazy and said they would not, however, let their significant other spend more than $10,000. I’m sorry….. but when I think of rings, that number doesn’t.even.cross my mind.

Am I just out of the times? Or naive? Maybe I don’t look at rings enough — which is probably a good thing because that would really freak me out, let alone my boyfriend, too.

So we discussed our views for a little bit, because then I really started to wonder if maybe I am ignorant. I mean, okay, who wouldn’t enjoy a huge, boulder-like ring on their finger? But is it necessary? I’m not saying it’s terrible (at all) to want or expect that, I’m not even saying it’s wrong or anything negative. If someone has a great job and can afford that, that is one thing and I am truly happy for you; but why would I asked my soon-to-be-husband to spend his life savings on something he could spend half on and it would still mean just as much? There are some gorgeous rings out there that don’t require a loan.  I get my roommate’s points of view, it is a big thing, but I don’t think I would ask that of my significant other. (for more reasons which I won’t get into here)

This discussion just really intrigued me. So if anyone feels compelled to shoot me their 2 cents, I would love to hear it! Please, enlighten me with your views.

Just for wedding’s sake, some photos:

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the party crew

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My sister on the left.. people say we look alike, but we don’t see it at all.

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The two on the left are my cousin’s kids: flower girl and ring bearer. I could NOT get over how cute they were… look at him in that tux!!

2 reasons why iNeed an iPhone

I know, I know “#firstworldproblems”

But hear me out. This isn’t about entitlement or about complaining; it’s about me using my old phone until it is lifeless, using every last bit I can before entering the “new” world of smartphones.  This is about me convincing myself it is time to move on from a long-time companion. Not wanting to spend money might also pay a big role.

With that, the two best reasons I have come up with:

#1. My future depends on it. Okay just kidding, that is a little dramatic. But what isn’t dramatic is what is to follow, because it’s a true story: I was at a leadership retreat this weekend. One of the speakers, coincidentally enough it was Arik Hanson (super great speaker), gave us a presentation about the 10 skills of PR pros this day-in-age. #3 was Mobile. You know what he did? He held up his smart phone, wiggled it in the air and said, “These things”… he said PR professions this day and age need to know how mobile works,  how on-the-go works, how people are connecting right at their fingertips.

The point of this anecdote is that being mobile, and all it encompasses,  is part of the PR world. See, really, this is a learning experience. Right? I mean, this is my future we are talking about! :)

and #2.  My go-phone goes no longer. Plain and simple. My junior year of high school my slide-screen AT&T awesome-phone got some sort of water damage, so my mom took me to the store. I willingly suggested I get this $60 go-phone (the kind you pay-as-you-go, except that it would just go with the family plan)  since it will hold up until my next upgrade in a few months.

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I call it the Blueberry, since many times people have called it a “Blackberry” from a distance.

Fast-forward 4 years when I’m a junior in college, about 3 upgrades later, and this phone is still hanging in there. Hardly. I hear “What??” 10 times during every conversation, or it ends with “Okayyyy, well I can hardly hear you so I’ll call you later” (repeat, repeat, repeat). It doesn’t surprise me anymore when I look down at my phone, realizing I’m talking to no one. I call back and ask, “So what’s the last thing you hear? Oh, okay, (repeat what I said for the past 3 minutes)..”

This thing is a trooper, but its time has come. It has seen many great days, heard many great stories and contains more secrets than I’d like to admit. Bless its soul for sticking around so long.

**Disclaimer: I would be/am content and happy to have any phone/ device that keeps me in contact with the people I love. Truthfully. I am lucky. It’s just time for an upgrade, Julia.