Is jealousy still the ugliest of traits?

People used to say that jealousy is the ugliest of traits. But now I see quotes like this:

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Does jealousy really mean a girl is faithful? What if a girl isn’t jealous? I’m going to be bold and flat out say I think that quote is stupid (referring to the jealousy portion.. I mean the rest of it isn’t really profound either and kind of stupid as well).

I was watching a show the other night, and the guy was about to leave for his bachelor party in Tahoe. His fiancé right away asked her girlfriends, “Is Tahoe a place girls will be??” And when he got back she questioned him about if there were girls there and if he talked to them and blah blah blah.

Back in high school, I was that girl. “Omg you talked to her?” “Who is all going to be there?” “She is going to be there? You BETTER not even hardly look at her.”  “Why would you want to watch volleyball over my soccer game? Hmm? You like their spankies?” (okay, a little dramatized for effect)

Moral of the story is that looking back on high school relationships, I think to myself, Yikes…..that’s embarrassing. I got mad at stupid things that shouldn’t have been fights when it came to other girls. Now, sure, the guy was a fruitcake and gave me reasons to be the way I was; however, it taught me a lot about trust. I had no trust in him, so I was crazy girlfriend.

I get it.. we all like to have attention 100% of the time and want to make sure our guy isn’t crossing boundaries.

If you trust your guy, though, why can’t he be allowed to talk to other girls without being interrogated after the fact? He has friends too, you know. Ones that are of the opposite sex. It isn’t a crime. Talking to them doesn’t mean he wants to get in their pants.

Can’t we all just get along? Why does it have to be made into a big deal?

And what if you don’t get jealous at those things? Does that all of a sudden make you less of a girlfriend, like this quote implies?

I feel as though society has made jealousy out to be a good thing. Is it really? Or are we just using it as an excuse to be a pain in the behind? Or better yet, an excuse covering up the fact that you don’t truly trust him? I’m not saying a little jealousy is bad.  I mean, we’re all human. But when it’s enough to cause issues, interrogation and lies (even “white lies”) between one party or the other regarding the who, what,where, when and why… it becomes thee ugliest of relationship traits, in my opinion.

And, don’t be afraid to fall in love.

Of her list of lessons Gwyneth Paltrow listed off in Country Strong, while she stood in Leighton Meister’s dressing room hours before she commits suicide, falling in love was by far my favorite. Every time I watch it, I have to replay this part about 5 times.

She paused long and hard and softly revealed the tricks and truths of life. In 7 simple words.

Don’t be afraid to fall in love.

“It’s the only thing that matters in life. The only thing, do you understand what I’m telling you?”

… And then she paused again. Long.

Country strong

“You just fall in love with as many things as possible.”

Because if you fall in love with as many things as possible, like an early cup of coffee; the way yellow Fall leaves brush up on your toes as you walk through the sidewalk; the sun shining above bluffs, with a cool breeze on your face, and knowing this is your home; crawling into bed after a long day and sighing; getting a comment on your lead in the front cover story of the newspaper, then everything else in life falls into place. If you’re too busy loving little things, the big things seem oddly unnecessary — or, at least, unworthy of being worried about. Then you start to love the big things and everything in between.

You just have to fall in love with as many things as possible.